Social comparison in summer: when social media makes our own lives seem less appealing

Summer often brings greater exposure to what other people are doing. Trips, meals, parties, getaways, gatherings with friends and afternoons by the sea fill social media with images that, in many cases, show a carefully curated version of leisure. For some people, this constant stream of posts can eventually create the feeling that their own summer is less interesting or fulfilling.

It does not take spectacular holidays for comparison to emerge. A dinner on a terrace, an excursion or a family gathering can become a benchmark against which people measure their own experiences. The problem arises when these images are interpreted as a complete representation of someone else’s life and then used to assess our own.

“In summer, what other people are doing becomes more visible, and this intensifies comparison. The mind tends to fill in what it cannot see. From a happy photograph, it imagines stronger relationships or better holidays. This interpretation is often unfair because it compares one person’s complete experience with another person’s most carefully presented moment,” explains Delia García Moratilla, a psychologist at Blua de Sanitas.

This tendency can be particularly difficult for people going through periods of tiredness, loneliness, job uncertainty or financial difficulties. Repeated exposure to other people’s plans can fuel thoughts such as “everyone is having fun except me” or “my life is moving more slowly”. Although these are subjective perceptions, they can increase frustration and make it harder to appreciate one’s own reality.

Not everyone experiences summer in the same way, either. Some people continue working, others have family responsibilities, cannot afford to travel or simply prefer to use their time off to rest. However, when digital platforms mainly showcase leisure activities, people may feel that they are also expected to demonstrate that they are making the most of summer.

Comparison can even influence how people plan their free time. Some choose activities based on how they will look in photographs or the impression they will make on others, while others may feel guilty about staying at home or choosing simple plans. In both cases, rest is no longer guided solely by personal needs.

“When the value of a holiday depends on whether it looks special, people tend to disconnect from their own needs. Sometimes the body is asking for a break, but the mind insists on creating experiences that can be shown to others. That pressure turns rest into another form of demand,” says the Blua de Sanitas psychologist.

For this reason, it is useful to pay attention to how social media use makes us feel. If sadness, irritability or a sense of inadequacy regularly appears after viewing certain content, it may be advisable to temporarily reduce exposure to posts focused on portraying an apparently perfect life.

It is also important to remember that a post never provides a complete picture of someone’s life. A photograph captures a specific moment while leaving out the personal, financial and emotional circumstances surrounding it. Keeping this perspective can prevent a selection of other people’s moments from becoming the standard against which we judge our own experiences.

In this regard, planning summer around each person’s actual needs may be more beneficial than trying to fit into a particular model of leisure. Staying at home, reading, getting more sleep, going for a walk or spending time with people close to us are also perfectly valid ways of enjoying a holiday.

Social media use deserves particular attention when someone is tired, lonely or feeling low, as these states can encourage a more negative perception when comparing oneself with others. Enjoying summer does not mean accumulating plans or turning them into content to share. Finding a pace that supports physical and emotional wellbeing can be far more restorative than filling the schedule with activities that do not genuinely meet the needs of the moment.

“Occasional comparison is human; it is a normal psychological mechanism. However, it can become problematic when comparison becomes frequent, harms emotional wellbeing or makes a person feel that their life is never enough. In these cases, it is important to pay attention and even consider professional support when the distress persists over time, either in person or through video consultation. The goal is not to stop using social media, but to learn how to engage with it without allowing it to define the value of what is ours,” concludes Delia García Moratilla.